Christmas pondering

Wow it feels like ages since I've written here, sorry guys but its another personal one ...


For the past two weeks I've been working in Aberdeen answering calls and filing for a family friend's company.  It's been a bit of a rollercoaster really- I start at 7am which I am still finding tough! But then I finish early afternoon so it could be worse.  I am staying with other family friends so when I come home after work I pick up their three kids from school, give them dinner and read them bed-time stories.  Feel quite grown-up really!! Not really seen many friends or done anything very exciting so really looking forward to finishing in two days and really getting into the Christmas spirit!

Since I've been by myself quite alot I've been able to think about things that I normally only really think about in the evening just before I fall asleep.  It's funny because I haven't really been recognising that its Christmas so soon- I think I am becoming immune to the Christmas songs and lavish decorations up here in Aberdeen!  Instead, I've been thinking alot about New Year and moving on into 2014.  Naturally, with thinking about moving forward into a new chapter in your life it always means reflecting on previous ones.  2013 has been a successful year for me in many respects- passed my driving test, more than halfway through my university degree, travelled to the other side of the world by myself and made friends with people from so many different countries.  However, I have also done things that I am disappointed with myself by.  I don't want to say that I regret them as I don't think that it is healthy to constantly regret previous mistakes, but I recognise where I have gone wrong.  I am really looking forward to moving on into 2014 and seeing it as a completely clean slate.  No history, no previous experiences weighing me down- but instead making me a more confident and experienced person.   Yes, if I went back in time now I would do many things differently, but I can't.  I am sad in some respects as I feel that I have lost some important friendships, but maybe thats just the way it is meant to be.

When I was in Indonesia I became really interested in Buddhism and the ideology behind it.  Everything happens for a reason and life is too short to hold grudges or treat people unfairly.  Who knows what you'll be in the next life.

Merry Christmas, I hope it is truly wonderful and that you are surrounded by your loved ones.

Birthday Boogey

It was my birthday two days ago! The big old 2-0!! Hasn't really hit my yet that I am gone with the excuse of being a teenager...

I had such an incredible day- the night before my birthday one of my best chums Elliot came down from Durham for a bit of a party.  This just absolutely made it and made me feel so special that he was willing to come down for it! Things did get a bit silly.....

I had such a wonderful night and was feeling on top of the world- I'm sure it had something to do with the copious cocktails consumed but mainly being surrounded by some of my closest friends and letting our hair down.

The next day we groggily awoke and went to the local cafe and got a full fry up. YUM. Then I sadly bid Elliot farewell and lazily hung around until my next set of guests came.  My sister, one of my oldest friends Mima and my dad came to take me and a couple of friends out for dinner.  This was really really lovely as we were treated to a top notch restaurant and copious amounts of nosh and good wine.  It sounds cheesy I know but I really felt surrounded by love on my birthday.

Since all the family and friends have disappeared and life has had to turn to reality I have been a bit sad, but not long now until home for Christmas!  Thank you to everyone for making this birthday the best I could have had.

Negativity

This post doesn't really fit with the other ones that I've done so far- but I really felt the urge to write it.  Its 2.52am and I've been receiving some pretty aggressive texts from someone that I once considered closest to me.  Of course it is only natural for me to be upset by this- its hurtful and being accused of things is never nice to deal with.  It has made me realise though that I can not go on dealing with this.

I am a very emotional person and I often over-think and over-worry about what people think.  This has really sent me into a tunnel of negativity for the past year now and left me feeling deflated and rubbish about myself.  But why?  Why even let these feelings and experiences happen and get the better of me?  I need to focus on the positive in life more- me, myself and I.  There is no need for negativity and negative people to be in my life.  Last year I had some pretty nasty encounters with a number of aggressive people and it really affected me, more than I realised at the time.  This is stopping now.  For me to be truly happy with myself I cannot put up with these feelings anymore.

Of course it is inevitable that I will probably have a falling out or clash with someone in the future, but for now there is no space in my life for people that go out purposefully to hurt you.  There should not be room in anyone's life for that.  And it should not upset me.  If anything, people hurting me is only going to make me a stronger person.  Surrounding myself with positivity is part of an attempt to be happier in myself.  My sister said I needed a bit of a 'reinvention'- this wasn't meant in a nasty way, and she's right.  Away with the old K that got down about the smallest things and was constantly negative about life.  Noone wants to hear that and it doesn't help me in any way.

I know this change is not going to happen overnight but it will happen.  I really need this, I really need to be happier with myself.

Sorry for the rant if anyone is reading this.

Home

I went home to Scotland this week- it has been HEAVEN.  I always forget how lovely it is to come home every night to a clean house with my big bed, no noise and copious amounts of seriously good food.  This time, Iona came home for the weekend, and even though we only got to spend one full day together it was so nice to be almost reunited- not forgetting Fergus of course!  Poor Ferg is at school and trying to juggle playing Scotland rugby (I know!) and work towards his GCSE exams.

This week I have caught up with some family friends, slept so much and really recharged my batteries.  I love Leeds, I do, but I was getting stressed out, overtired and quite irrational so it was lucky that my reading week was at the right time!  Now I am ready to go back and face another five weeks of uni work, partying and I guess more work.  What is making me really excited is the idea of the German Christmas Market in Leeds- it is so beautiful and fun.

Heres a picture from last year:

However excited I am for the market- I have had a really nice time at home.  Dad and I went shopping one day- if you knew us you would know that we are probably both the worst shoppers in history!  We did manage to squeeze purchasing some items, having lunch and watching Captain Philips into an afternoon so we were quite pleased with ourselves.  Captain Philips is AMAZING, its a complete must-see.  

Tomorrow I am off to stay with Iona in Newcastle for a night... what in god's name have I let myself in for?!

Halloween

I actually find Halloween a bit of an anti-climax each year- if it was up to me I would prefer everyone to stay in and play bobbing for apples and that donut on the string game.  I live in the countryside so when I was younger we would wander round a couple of houses dressed as pumpkins and get a handful of sweets and that would be it- which I was more than happy with!  Don't get me wrong, I still had a really fun night and was really happy to spend time with lots of different friends and I enjoyed going out, but I couldn't help the nagging feeling I had the whole night that I would have had more fun playing spooky games at someone's house the whole night.  Do I sound really boring? Probably.

Some of my friends dressed to impress however which was really cool.  Heres a couple of the outfits:

So I am the one dressed as Miley Cyrus!  It was actually a good outfit for the night as I felt comfy and it was SO easy! Although I lost my foam finger...... 

I have just come home for the week and I am unbelievably happy to be back and to relax.  Yesterday I watched my younger brother play rugby and today I had a BIIIIIG lie-in and it felt great.  The last two weeks of uni have been a bit dark for me, just because of big deadlines so I felt that I was living a very unsociable life in the library!  On Friday I am going down to Newcastle to visit my sister- who has just started there so that will be great fun.  In addition to all these exciting things the sun is shining...in Scotland- who would have thought?

I have decided to make my first proper blog post about my biggest adventure yet... to Indonesia.  To be honest, I have found that most people don't actually know where Indonesia is.  It is HUGE. Google it, its pretty cool.  I went for two months over summer on an internship with AIESEC (a great student-run organisation).  I was so nervous going- I am not the most confident of people and this was WAY WAY WAY out of my comfort zone.

Before I knew it I was off.  I had to transfer in Singapore for 12 hours which was a bit nerve-racking, but the airport is amazing.  Like proper amazing.  I went swimming in the outdoor pool, utilised one of their hundreds of foot massage machines, and finished the evening off with a sleep in a proper bed.  Heaven.  

Yes, this is the airport. Holy crap.

I know this sounds cliché, but it was probably the best experience of my life.  I met so many amazing people.  Not just the people on the project, but the Indonesians out there.  Their uncomplicated and positive mentality really inspired me, they were so cheerful and happy the whole time.  It was truly a blessing to be surrounded by such unique people and it makes me so sad to think that I will probably never see them again.  I was also there during Ramadan, and living with a muslim family for 6 weeks meant that I was able to get an insight into the religion that I had never had before.  As I travelled after, I visited predominantly Buddhist and Hindu areas, and I became really interested in the Buddhist approach- mum and dad would burst out laughing right now if they read this!                                  

This is me (K) and Nurul, the leader of the organisation.  She was the sweetest and most loveable girl ever.

This is a cheeky shot that I managed to get off the Indonesian girls in the evening when they had taken off their scarves before bed.  

On top of that- Indonesia is the most beautiful place.  I was lucky enough to travel for two weeks after my project finished.  The places I visited- Yogyakarta, Bali, Lombok and the Gili Islands were just heaven.  Here are some of pictures I took when I was there.

Victor and Kevin posing...classic.

I cannot believe it was only this summer, feels like a lifetime ago.  I miss everyone there so much and it has really ignited my passion for travel.  I cannot recommend it enough for anyone- even for a holiday, Indonesia is so unique there is nowhere quite like it.

K

SO. The first blog post.  The first thing that anyone remotely interested in my blog will read.  WHAT THE HELL DO I SAY?!

I suppose a quick de-brief about me is in order.  I'm K- otherwise known to close family and friends as Kiki.  I'm 20, currently studying at Leeds University in England.  However, I live in Scotland with my family and dog, Bailey.  My ideal night involves being tucked up in my onesie at home, in front of the fire with Bailey, my family, a glass of wine, and of course my dear friend Dairy Milk....Bridget Jones-esque you may be thinking-  yes, I have been told many times now that she and I are too similar.  To be honest I do not think it's such a bad thing... everyone loves Bridget...right? BEFORE YOU ALL THINK I AM A COMPLETE AND UTTER LOSER... I am not always... I hope.  

I have never done a blog before- to be honest I have no clue what one normally writes in a blog, but today I just felt like it (also sheer desperation to avoid writing my dreaded essay on the history of scientific discipline of Geography).  I guess this will end up being snippets of my life, my friends and my scatty thoughts.